Dear Daddy
Dear
Daddy—
Why
the hell have you forsaken me,
Your
only worthwhile son?
Because
I wear the Colour Green?
Because
I wear your hidden shades?
You
are the man that
Grinds
me to the
Blood
and bone.
But,
dear Daddy,
You
can’t forget me.
My
eyes are yours
Three-fold.
I
have seen and heard
The
things you may deny.
I’m
so sorry I’m not holy
In
your kingdom hall of hate.
No,
I’m not!
There
is no change,
So
you can have your throne
Made
of my bones.
Sing
your sorry lullabies,
I
won’t await your trust.
I
need you less
Than
when I was a child.
Don’t
rock-a-bye me
With
your sad,
Sweet
tunes of unsung guilt.
I
am a stronger man
That
Noah built.
Yes,
I am a real Man,
Daddy,
Despite
what you may think.
I
turned out better than fine.
I
never had a daddy
And
I never needed one.
Can
you say the same
For
all your other bastard sons?
Sinner,
sinner,
Sinner
hell,
Why
don’t you
Take
a chance and tell—
How
many boys
By
how many different
Wives,
harem daddy?
Take
back
Your
books of wisdom.
Read
them well.
I
didn’t need them,
Or
the verses
Thrown
as weapons
From
your pulpit, Daddy.
Tell
me, Daddy,
Since
we’re sharing,
Are
you cringing?
Are
you swearing?
Suicide
had nothing at all
To
do with the loss of you.
With
Mommy telling lies,
And
Daddy feeling hate,
All
that’s left for me to do
Is
stand and wait.
Who
are you,
Dear,
dear Daddy?
Is
there a book
That
I can read
That
tells of all the
Sordid
deeds,
That
you laid at
Our
God’s feet
And
then forgot?
Did
you list your
Next
of kin,
Did
you
Write
of all your sins
That
you passed down
To
the only worthwhile
Son
that you begot?
One
day,
I’ll
see my daddy
For
the man that
He’s
become—
So
frosted over with his
Guilt
and loss.
How
dare you judge me,
Daddy,
When
you didn’t see me walk,
You
didn’t hear me talk,
When
you didn’t see me grow
Into
a man?
To
re-invent myself
Required
awful, damned good skill.
You
didn’t know me then,
So
refuse to love me now
For,
no one knows
The
places I have been.
You
don’t know me,
You
don’t love me.
You
can’t change me,
So
what of me?
I’ll
tell you what—
Sit
back
And
turn the page.
Cedric L. Jones
(I Wear the Colour Green -2008)
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