Proceed With Caution!

Happy Halloween!

The White Rabbit

Photo by Ann Breitbach

Advice From a Caterpillar No. 3

John Tenniel, 1865

Advice From a Caterpillar No. 2

Here's my second installment of life lessons as taught to Alice by the Caterpillar.

Illustration by John Tenniel 1865

Advice From a Caterpillar No. 1

The Gay Pride Civil Rights Movement promotes positive affirmation, education and advocacy for the LGBTQ and Ally community against discrimination, violence and ignorance.  We show that Pride in our rallies and our marches, and even in our parties, but we carry Pride with us each and every day of our lives! Happy Pride everyone!

National Poetry Month: Dear Daddy

In honor of National Poetry Month, this is the last of the public readings from the 2008 release of I WEAR THE COLOUR GREEN.

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy—

Why the hell have you forsaken me,

Your only worthwhile son?

Because I wear the Colour Green?

Because I wear your hidden shades?

You are the man that

Grinds me to the

Blood and bone.

But, dear Daddy,

You can’t forget me.

My eyes are yours

Three-fold.

I have seen and heard

The things you may deny.

I’m so sorry I’m not holy

In your kingdom hall of hate.

No, I’m not!

There is no change,

So you can have your throne

Made of my bones.

Sing your sorry lullabies,

I won’t await your trust.

I need you less

Than when I was a child.

Don’t rock-a-bye me

With your sad,

Sweet tunes of unsung guilt.

I am a stronger man

That Noah built.

Yes, I am a real Man,

Daddy,

Despite what you may think.

I turned out better than fine.

I never had a daddy

And I never needed one.

Can you say the same

For all your other bastard sons?

Sinner, sinner,

Sinner hell,

Why don’t you

Take a chance and tell—

How many boys

By how many different

Wives, harem daddy?

Take back

Your books of wisdom.

Read them well.

I didn’t need them,

Or the verses

Thrown as weapons

From your pulpit, Daddy.

Tell me, Daddy,

Since we’re sharing,

Are you cringing?

Are you swearing?

Suicide had nothing at all

To do with the loss of you.

With Mommy telling lies,

And Daddy feeling hate,

All that’s left for me to do

Is stand and wait.

Who are you,

Dear, dear Daddy?

Is there a book

That I can read

That tells of all the

Sordid deeds,

That you laid at

Our God’s feet

And then forgot?

Did you list your

Next of kin,

Did you

Write of all your sins

That you passed down

To the only worthwhile

Son that you begot?

One day,

I’ll see my daddy

For the man that

He’s become—

So frosted over with his

Guilt and loss.

How dare you judge me,

Daddy,

When you didn’t see me walk,

You didn’t hear me talk,

When you didn’t see me grow

Into a man?

To re-invent myself

Required awful, damned good skill.

You didn’t know me then,

So refuse to love me now

For, no one knows

The places I have been.

You don’t know me,

You don’t love me.

You can’t change me,

So what of me?

I’ll tell you what—

Sit back

And turn the page.

Cedric L. Jones

(I Wear the Colour Green -2008)

National Poetry Month: Friendship Eternal

In honor of April being National Poetry Month, I am posting another poem from my 2008 book I Wear the Colour Green.  The video is from a release party hosted by my friend and fellow artist Gilberto Gonzales. I am reading the poem "Friendship Eternal," which was first read by the Valedictorian at my 1991 graduation from Marlboro County High School in Bennettsville, S.C.

Friendship Eternal

When the wings of time have brushed us,

And somehow have drawn us apart,

We may come again together

In the spirit and in the heart.

And when distance is a constant reminder,

We may turn back the wheels of our minds

And remember our days of youth clearly

As if for the very first time.

We may pray once again to hear laughter

As we once heard it many years before,

That the closeness and warmth that we’re after

Make ageless our yearning for more.

So I write this verse in the present

So the future will bring back the past,

And as words live on, so will memory,

And in memory, our friendship shall last.

Cedric L. Jones 

(I Wear the Colour Green ©2008)

National Poetry Month: History

April is National Poetry Month, and I'm working to finish putting together my second book of poetry.  In the meantime, here is a reading from my first collection, I Wear the Colour Green (2008).

History

I pricked my finger,

Out spilled blood.

Thickening history ran

Massahs and missus

And cotton,

On which I wiped

The dripping blood and read

The pages full.

The back doors

Of the alley ways

Swing segregated freedom,

Different water,

Different air,

Different jobs—

In court a separate Bible.

In church a separate God.

My God said be gentle,

His God said be fierce.

White cape, rope in hand.

A structure crackles deep in flames,

Deep in flames.

The massahs and missus are gone now,

Only a couple to spare.

Yet, in my blood

I’m toting on.

I feel the wounds,

But looking back will

Salt them even more.

Dripping blood

Reality

Can lock the alley doors.

by Cedric L. Jones 

Marry Me

I’ve jumped brooms

in my blood

before I was me,

and now that I am,

I still can't be free.

As I travel on

I need you to see

I'm walking these streets

an invisible me,

a second class citizen

who wants to be free.

‘Though death do us part

you won't marry me.

I’m a slave to a system

We all know so well.

My ego's still smarting

From Don't ask, Don't tell.

I can't be in love,

I've no license to be.

Though I say “I do”,

you won't marry me.

We’ve been to the mountain top

Climbed to be free.

We’ve played by the rules

Of the Democracy.

We will ask!

We will tell!

We will march and raise hell!

We’ll riot and picket,

We’ll strike and rebel!

We’ll demand equal rights!

We’ll demand to be free!

By the time we have finished,

You will marry me!

I have dreams like my neighbors

Of settling down

Of snow days

And school plays

Of birthdays with clowns.

Of laughter filled evenings,

My family and me—

Of my happy ending

When you marry me.

©2013 Cedric L. Jones

(from the upcoming poetry book We the People)

"The Future" taken at 2011 NYC Heritage of Pride 

©2013 Cedric L. Jones

RAW : Natural Born Artists

Makeup artist Ann Breitbach will be beating faces this year as a part of RAW.  She will be transforming me into Envy, one of the Deadly Sins.  Check out Ann and more amazing artist on February 7!



Me And My Shadow

I remember those first few nights when I rushed home from my shift at Mick’s Bennett Street, as restaurant in Atlanta, GA. It was late, and it had been long hours, but I was too excited to be tired.  I was excited to see my new little companion, who was waiting for me at home.  Well, actually….hiding from me at home.

Someone found him on the back docks of the restaurant, alone and hungry.  When they called me to see him, he was eagerly devouring the French fries one of the delivery guys had sprinkled on the ground for him.  His little tail was bent at an unnatural angle and his little kitten mew was as endearing as his tiny round face and sparkling green eyes.  “You should take him home,” Brandy suggested.  Everyone knew that I had been thinking of getting a cat. A little while before, I received an “IOU a kitten” Christmas card from my friend Mark.  I guess it was difficult to find kittens during the holidays.  But, this one had found us.  Now faced with the opportunity, I was a little afraid.  What if he didn’t like me? What if I didn’t know how to take care of him? I agreed anyway, and Operation Kitty Cat was under way.

I still had quite a few hours left on my shift, so Wendy, the kitchen manager, and my friend Brandy agreed to take him home for me.  First, they would need to get supplies.  It took a group effort for us to smuggle him into the restaurant and into the manager’s office, where he would stay until they returned to ferry him to my nearby apartment.  I split my time between being in the dining room, where I was supposed to be, and watching him with wonder.

Hours later, I entered my own apartment with trepidation.  I lived alone at the time, but he had been there on his own for the first time.  Brandy and Wendy had set up a tiny litter box for me, with tiny food and water bowls for my tiny new friend. The small crumbs of cat food on the floor near the bowl let me know that he had been there.  But where was he?  I finally spotted his tiny head beneath the arm chair.  I reached for him, but he retreated further, beyond my reach.  I didn’t want to force it. 

So it was, for the first couple of days.  I looked for the tell-tale signs that he was eating, drinking and pooping as he should, and he hid from me, not knowing what to make of me or his new surroundings.  When he did come out, he approached me suspiciously, and ran when I tried to coax him with treats and toys. He was having none of it. 

Finally, on a day that I was feeling particularly lonely, I sang to him.  I don’t know if it was the magic of Disney, or if he really wanted to shut me up, but he came closer than before.  I stroked him gently, and scooped him up to the sofa.  He now knew that coming closer would give him the advantage of a belly rub, and we now began to bond. However, he still didn’t have a name.

For the next couple of days, I jotted down possible monikers and ran them by co-workers, friends, and even the cat himself. He was a black and white tuxedo cat so I considered Sylvester and Felix and, of course, I rejected them.  Then there were Prince, Lestat, Pywacket, Salem - but none of them seemed true. 

Now, since our bonding began, I would come home to find the little fellow waiting for me. Our relationship had done a complete 180.  He followed me around the apartment like an invisible string attached us, meowing non-stop.  In the beginning, he was a very talkative little fellow and, of course, I talked back.  I would ask him about his day, and tell him about mine.  I sometimes worried that the neighbors might complain, but they never did.

On another of those nights where I felt particularly lonely, I came home, and he was again waiting for me as he would be for years to come. I scooped him up into my arms and began to sing a different tune…”When I climb the stairs, I never knock, ‘cause nobody’s there. Just me, and my…..” And, my little baby was named. His name was Shadow.

We had many great years together, but it was not always song and dance and conversation.  The first time he fell ill, he collapsed in front of me as I returned home from another long shift. It was a Wednesday night.  I rushed him to Pets are People Too at 1510 Piedmont Avenue in Atlanta, where I learned he had feline diabetes.  I didn’t have the money for the hospital stay or the treatment.  My good friend Shannon told me I should ask our boss, Brad for and advance. 

When I approached him, he sat me down and spoke to me seriously.  “You know I have dogs and that I’m a serious animal lover,” he told me.  “I want you to think about it."  He told me he would be happy to advance me the money, but I had to make sure that I could bring Shadow home, healthy and happy, as opposed to putting money into something that would prolong his agony and not do much to help him at all.

At the animal hospital, I had been given the option of laying him to rest. It was such a hard decision to make.  When I visited him, it broke my heart.  His little tuxedo had been shaved in places and he was partially blind. He was so thin and weak, that he almost looked like a different cat.   The doctor carried him in and explained the treatment he had received.  He was on fluids, but he still had not eaten.  “Try to get him to eat something,” she said, as she left us alone in the exam room. 

I reached out to my Shadow, and I could tell he recognized me.  It took all of my effort not to sweep his frail little body up into my arms.  He jerked himself up on the table and pulled himself toward me.  As he began to eat from my hand, I knew that there was no way I could ever let him go. I think that’s when I knew he loved me. In that moment, he told me that if I took care of him, he’d take care of me.

I told Brad that I was confident it would work.  It did.  Shadow came home and he took his insulin shots like a champ.  In a couple of years, he would become ill again.  This time, he was restricted to a diet of wet food, but he marched on.

Shadow was there for the good times, the bad times and all the times in between.  We shared three zip codes, six apartments, and countless roommates.  More importantly, we shared a life.

In the wee hours of the morning, on December 15, 2013, Shadow took his final rest.  I will forever be grateful for the 16 years we spent together. I can only hope that I gave him as much love and happiness as he gave to me.

Many of my friends understand that pets are not just a diversion, or something to own.  They are companions, and friends and family.  They have little minds and imaginations and emotions. Those doctors and nurses in Atlanta got it right, pets really ARE people too. 

Cheers,

Ceddy

THE YEAR END/NEW YEAR HALF OFF HOLIDAY BLOWOUT SHOWCASE

“Don’t look at me!” actor Ann Breitbach demands as we try to rehearse our scene without laughing, while standing in front of Jeff Love.  Good luck with that. “Okay,” Jeff says as he pulls up the script to cover his face.  It doesn’t help.  They laugh anyway, and it becomes contagious. Pretty soon we are all laughing. Ann and I are attempting to get through “The Icon Con”, a sketch from THE YEAR END/NEW YEAR HALF OFF HOLIDAY BLOWOUT SHOWCASE, which opens on January 17.

We can barely make it through a single rehearsal without cracking up.  I just hope I can keep a straight face on opening night. This is what happens when you work with some of the most hilarious people doing indie theatre in New York.

Point of You Productions was founded a decade ago by Artistic Director Jeff Love and Executive Director Johnny Blaze Leavitt with the purpose of enlightening and enriching New York theatre audiences through both classical and original works.

Jeff Love and Johnny Blaze Leavitt make decisions

Kathleen Fletcher and Monica Blaze Leavitt are Desperate Turkey Wives

We are rehearsing one such original work that has been almost two years in the making.  The laughter began when we met to develop sketch ideas for a show spoofing the winter holidays. We met in studios, parks, apartments, and at that famous green coffee house to mold ideas that would eventually become THE YEAR END/NEW YEAR HALF OFF HOLIDAY BLOWOUT SHOWCASE.

This is the first show of 2013 produced by Point of You Productions. In true POY style, there are no egos here -- just hard work, loyalty and dedication. There has been a strong collaborative effort to produce this show. It’s the type of experience that keeps me involved in New York independent theatre.

A few minutes later, as I toss aside the imaginary piece of paper Ann hands me, she breaks into laughter again, and I follow suit.  We just have to get it out of our system. We are having way too much fun to call this work, but we get the work done. We are determined to put on a good show, even if we die (laughing) trying.

Actor and Makeup Artist Ann Breitbach with co-star

   

Poor Dandy Elf! Joe Esbenshade does a "bang up" job

THE YEAR END/NEW YEAR HALF OFF HOLIDAY BLOWOUT SALE SHOWCASE!

 January 17, 18, 24 & 25, 2013

The Roy Arias Studios – Stage II Theatre

300 West 43rd Street | New York, NY 10036

Performances are at 8pm

Reservations: SmartTix.com

Written by: Nicholas Walker Herbert, Cedric Jones, Johnny Blaze Leavitt, Jeff Love, Lee Solomon, Paul Weissman

Directed by: Cedric Jones, Johnny Blaze Leavitt, Monica Blaze Leavitt and Jeff Love

Featuring: Ann Breitbach, Emily Dalton, Nick DeMarco , Joe Esbenshade, Kathleen Fletcher, Cedric Jones, Johnny Blaze Leavitt, Monica Blaze Leavitt, Jeff Love, Miles Neuvirth, Gerard J. Savoy, Marc Adam Smith, Emily Stokes and Lindsay Kitt Wiebe.



FROM THE PRESS RELEASE:

Desperate turkeys, drunk elves, the Mob and a very disturbed Who from Whoville…

Point of You Productions celebrates the end of the winter holiday season with some much needed therapeutic laughter! Come decompress with us.

THE YEAR END/NEW YEAR HALF OFF HOLIDAY BLOWOUT SALE SHOWCASE

celebrates the insanity of the winter holiday season. From Thanksgiving through New Year’s

Day, the holidays bring us joy… as well as headaches, drama and a sudden urge to live on a deserted island.

Meet Matt and Sarah, two little kids who each try to convince the other that they know more about the real story of the holidays. This leads us to hearing such unknown holiday classic stories as ‘The Santa Con Bunny,” “Santa’s Misery,” “Birthday Claus” and “The Oddest Couple,” featuring Jesus and Scrooge.

Will the elves form a labor union? Will Thanksgiving go turkeyless this year? Why is the Grinch talking to Madonna? And what does the Holiday Human Resources Department have to announce?

The winter holidays are over! You’ve hung on to your sanity for another year! Come celebrate that with us as we lovingly say goodbye to the most [censored] time of the year.





Johnny Blaze Leavitt in THE YEAR END/NEW YEAR HALF OFF HOLIDAY BLOWOUT SHOWCASE